Think your day is going bad? Well here's a little perspective to make you feel better.
"Hey...ten bucks says that kid up there lands in the planter!"
From the "I begged you to leave him with a sitter" department, comes this AP reported story about a shipload of dice rolling passengers who thought they were on their way for a quick, carefree, three night dream getaway gambling cruise to the Bahamas, but instead found themselves making an unexpected oceanic u-turn after a 14-month old fellow voyager fell down and went boom aboard ship. At first it seemed the little tyke could be treated on board, but cruise line officials, who in recent years have become somewhat sensitive about the criticism they've been receiving whenever people die on their ships, soon decided to err on the side of caution and turn the boat back to port when it became clear the injuries were serious. A good decision for the kid and a good day for the cruise line, who showed responsible behavior. Not such a good day for the hard luck other passengers though, who had their pre-holiday gambling micro-vacation unexpectedly interrupted by the klutzy toddler who decided to take a twenty foot header on to the Lido Deck.
All the way back to Port Canaveral just to save the life of a baby??? For Christ sakes Cruise Director Julie...get your priorities straight!!! I'm holding a Royal Flush!
All the way back to Port Canaveral just to save the life of a baby??? For Christ sakes Cruise Director Julie...get your priorities straight!!! I'm holding a Royal Flush!
"Hmm......Bet I could make it."
And as bad a day was had by the above mentioned ocean voyagers, it was nothing compared to the Bad Day experienced by one very unfortunate moose who gambled and lost when he wandered onto a rural stretch of Vermont roadway, and ended up being struck by not one, not two, but THREE speeding motor vehicles, ...all three vehicles sustaining significant damage, with one ending up on it's roof.
Remarkably only one person suffered minor injuries.
As for the moose, let's just say his friends and family are seeking donations to fund a memorial scholarship created in his name.
Authorities have not yet been able to explain why the moose was on the highway or determine in fact whether his wanderings were accidental.
Friends have described the moose as recently having been depressed.
Speaking off the record, an associate commented, "There was a reindeer. It was complicated."
Remarkably only one person suffered minor injuries.
As for the moose, let's just say his friends and family are seeking donations to fund a memorial scholarship created in his name.
Authorities have not yet been able to explain why the moose was on the highway or determine in fact whether his wanderings were accidental.
Friends have described the moose as recently having been depressed.
Speaking off the record, an associate commented, "There was a reindeer. It was complicated."
"That's it, elf. Keep your hands where I can see em!"
And then of course it wouldn't be the Christmas season without at least one Bad Day news story about somebody dressed like Santa Claus getting jacked by a bunch of cops.
Ho Ho Ho.
According to the Huffington Post, this year's entry comes courtesy of officers with the Texas Department of Public Safety who took an Austin man into custody for creating criminal mischief when he was caught defacing public property on the grounds of the Texas State Capitol. At the time, he was allegedly writing words in chalk on the sidewalk and inviting passersby and children to join him, words that expressed wishes for a better world. Words like "community" and "peace". Ostensibly, we are supposed to believe here that in HIS mind, Santa Claus believes that the best way to achieve world peace is by scribbling inspirational messages in front of the Texas State Capitol on the sidewalk, in chalk. Because as everyone knows, the Texas state legislature is a hotbed of social activism when it comes to policy initiatives promulgating international global world peace.
This is Texas we're talking about. The state that gave us Rick Perry.
Making the crime (and the resulting arrest) seem all the more silly was the fact that it was conveniently witnessed and publicized by a member of Occupy Austin, who was more than happy to post a video capture of the event. Wow. What a coincidence. An Occupy member just happened to be there with a camera. Not that we would EVER suspect the kids in the Occupy movement of manipulating a news event to serve the purposes of their famously unfocused agenda. (That would require planning. Not exactly an Occupy hallmark.)
More likely, Santa's criminal behavior has more sinister roots. We suspect video games, and of course, gay reindeer marriage.
Bah. Humbug.
Ho Ho Ho.
According to the Huffington Post, this year's entry comes courtesy of officers with the Texas Department of Public Safety who took an Austin man into custody for creating criminal mischief when he was caught defacing public property on the grounds of the Texas State Capitol. At the time, he was allegedly writing words in chalk on the sidewalk and inviting passersby and children to join him, words that expressed wishes for a better world. Words like "community" and "peace". Ostensibly, we are supposed to believe here that in HIS mind, Santa Claus believes that the best way to achieve world peace is by scribbling inspirational messages in front of the Texas State Capitol on the sidewalk, in chalk. Because as everyone knows, the Texas state legislature is a hotbed of social activism when it comes to policy initiatives promulgating international global world peace.
This is Texas we're talking about. The state that gave us Rick Perry.
Making the crime (and the resulting arrest) seem all the more silly was the fact that it was conveniently witnessed and publicized by a member of Occupy Austin, who was more than happy to post a video capture of the event. Wow. What a coincidence. An Occupy member just happened to be there with a camera. Not that we would EVER suspect the kids in the Occupy movement of manipulating a news event to serve the purposes of their famously unfocused agenda. (That would require planning. Not exactly an Occupy hallmark.)
More likely, Santa's criminal behavior has more sinister roots. We suspect video games, and of course, gay reindeer marriage.
Bah. Humbug.