Think your day is going bad? Well here's a little perspective to make you feel better.
"Please God...let this be a trend"
As I often say, "Nothing says 'Bad Day' like getting mauled to death by a tiger...in Copenhagen". Which is exactly the Bad Day experience recently had by a twenty-something foreign thrill-seeker who decided to climb a fence and cross a moat into a live tiger exhibit at the Copenhagen Zoo.
Of course, whether it was actually a genuine Bad Day has yet to be officially determined, as there is still some speculation on the part of local police that the unidentified young man's misadventure may have in fact been a successful suicide...making it, for him, a good day. Sort of.
Not so much for the zoo staffers who found the body, though. They're now in therapy. Starting their day by finding a trespasser being eaten by tigers is the one occupational hazard they probably didn't bargain for.
And then there are the poor tigers, who at some point are going to have to face reality and come to terms with the fact that this is not going to be a regularly occurring event, and that in terms of entertainment, the high point of their captivity has probably just slipped behind them.
So much depression. So much drama. Denmark. Sheesh.
Whatever happened to the good old days when people just drank poison? It was so much more uplifting!
Of course, whether it was actually a genuine Bad Day has yet to be officially determined, as there is still some speculation on the part of local police that the unidentified young man's misadventure may have in fact been a successful suicide...making it, for him, a good day. Sort of.
Not so much for the zoo staffers who found the body, though. They're now in therapy. Starting their day by finding a trespasser being eaten by tigers is the one occupational hazard they probably didn't bargain for.
And then there are the poor tigers, who at some point are going to have to face reality and come to terms with the fact that this is not going to be a regularly occurring event, and that in terms of entertainment, the high point of their captivity has probably just slipped behind them.
So much depression. So much drama. Denmark. Sheesh.
Whatever happened to the good old days when people just drank poison? It was so much more uplifting!
"But Daddy, can't we just spray them with Raid?"
Okay, so I can see that last story about a depressed man getting eaten by tigers has failed to cheer you up, so how about this one?
Which would be a worse Bad Day for you? Finding your yard full of icky spiders or accidentally setting your house on fire with blowtorch?
How about both???
Even better, how about both, and then having the whole embarrassing calamity reported endlessly all across the Internet?
Well that's exactly what happened to the tragically hapless Eiliya Maida of Chico, California who, armed with a blowtorch, was attempting to burn away the spider webs that were overtaking his tinder dry backyard, because that's the reasonable solution every homeowner takes when facing outside insects in the midst of a drought. But instead of eliminating the spiders, Maida managed only to ignite the dried out foliage, lighting flames that spread quickly to his house, resulting in a fire that forced he and his family to flee and eventually causing the arachnophobic homeowner $25,000 in damage.
And thanks to a resulting newspaper story in the Chico Enterprise Record that has been picked up by Yahoo News and retold repeatedly by insensitive blog sites like this one, millions of snarky people (who don't solve problems with blowtorches) now know about it.
So cheer up. Whatever knuckle headed thing you may have done today, at least you didn't do that!
Which would be a worse Bad Day for you? Finding your yard full of icky spiders or accidentally setting your house on fire with blowtorch?
How about both???
Even better, how about both, and then having the whole embarrassing calamity reported endlessly all across the Internet?
Well that's exactly what happened to the tragically hapless Eiliya Maida of Chico, California who, armed with a blowtorch, was attempting to burn away the spider webs that were overtaking his tinder dry backyard, because that's the reasonable solution every homeowner takes when facing outside insects in the midst of a drought. But instead of eliminating the spiders, Maida managed only to ignite the dried out foliage, lighting flames that spread quickly to his house, resulting in a fire that forced he and his family to flee and eventually causing the arachnophobic homeowner $25,000 in damage.
And thanks to a resulting newspaper story in the Chico Enterprise Record that has been picked up by Yahoo News and retold repeatedly by insensitive blog sites like this one, millions of snarky people (who don't solve problems with blowtorches) now know about it.
So cheer up. Whatever knuckle headed thing you may have done today, at least you didn't do that!
"Wheee! Can we run the stop sign again?"
And lastly, here's a curious bad behavior news item so ridiculous it almost seems planted by someone who could actually benefit by it. Planted by someone who thinks American voters need to gain a little "perspective". Planted by some desperate misunderstood soul who's been haunted by their own Bad Day story involving strapping beloved family pets to the roof of a car.
...Hmmmmm
At any rate, this story comes to us from the Associated Press, which is circulating an online report which first appeared in the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazzette, regarding one Mr. Aaron Stefanski of Fort Wayne, Indiana, who has pleaded guilty to charges of child neglect after police arrested him for using a tow strap to secure four children to the hood of his car which he then proceeded to drive around his neighborhood while intoxicated. (As if that's something we don't see everyday!) Stefanski allegedly told arresting officers he believed the children would enjoy the ride. He now faces six months to three years in prison on each of four felony charges of neglect and drunk driving.
Perhaps he should have used a cage on the roof?
But hang in there Mr. Stefanski. All hope is not lost. If the breaks go his way and a certain Republican candidate has his day, there's always the chance of a Presidential pardon.
...Hmmmmm
At any rate, this story comes to us from the Associated Press, which is circulating an online report which first appeared in the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazzette, regarding one Mr. Aaron Stefanski of Fort Wayne, Indiana, who has pleaded guilty to charges of child neglect after police arrested him for using a tow strap to secure four children to the hood of his car which he then proceeded to drive around his neighborhood while intoxicated. (As if that's something we don't see everyday!) Stefanski allegedly told arresting officers he believed the children would enjoy the ride. He now faces six months to three years in prison on each of four felony charges of neglect and drunk driving.
Perhaps he should have used a cage on the roof?
But hang in there Mr. Stefanski. All hope is not lost. If the breaks go his way and a certain Republican candidate has his day, there's always the chance of a Presidential pardon.
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