Yahoo News reports that in Australia, a forgetful tour boat company gift vouchered an American tourist a free boat trip and a $200 meal, yet still, ...he was not happy.  That might have something to do with the fact that the tour boat he was on packed up and went home, leaving him behind, and alone, with nothing but his snorkeling gear, floating on the Great Barrier Reef.
The Great Barrier Reef, one of the worlds most beautiful aquatic wonders, is also a favorite snacking area for great white sharks.
The snorkeler, 28 year old Ian Cole, has asked for a letter of apology outlining what new safety measures will be put in place as a result of the incident.  He has also asked for a new bathing suit, as the one he was wearing was stained beyond recognition. 

According to a Reuters report, the Governor of Rhode Island, who was quoted as saying "Today we are trying to right an injustice!", has pardoned one lucky Irish immigrant who was mistakenly convicted of brutally murdering a prominent Rhode Island industrialist on a snow covered road in Cranston on New Year's Day.  
Unfortunately, the Irishman, John Gordon, was not alive to enjoy his good fortune, as he was hanged by the neck for the crime in 1845, in a gallows located in Providence.
Apparently, Irish luck does not extend to time travel.
Well, b'gosh and b'gorn Mr. Gordon, twas sort of a good day.

Eee--yew! Whatever happened to bullets?
According to another Reuters story, cops in Ohio had their hands full when they tried to arrest a drunken wedding attendee who had allegedly been beating on her husband in a parked car.
When the officers went to remove her from the vehicle, the lactating lush responded by removing her breast from her dress and spraying them with breast milk.
A police spokesman attributed the incident to alcohol abuse.  
Sounds about right to us.
So far, no comment from Le Leche League.

Three spectators were injured at an Old West Shootout fundraising event in Hill City, South Dakota this past Friday, when participants apparently inadvertently loaded some of their weapons with live ammunition.
Event officials have yet to comment on the incident but are quick to point out that any plans for next years festivities will focus first and foremost on not killing tourists. 

It was a bad day for Bambi in Montana, according to a story published by Reuters News Service this week.  A butter-fingered bald eagle apparently dropped a baby deer fawn it was carrying off to devour, right on to a high-voltage power line, killing the fawn, as well as power in the surrounding area.  So far (to the relief of the eagle) police investigators are categorizing the death as accidental.

According to a story appearing in the Associated Press, things didn't go very well for a teenage Chicago mugger who selected as his victim, a pedestrian dressed as a clown.  Not only did the mugger not realize that clowns are notorious for not carrying cash, but that in this case, the intended victim was an off-duty police officer coming home from a children's charity event.  Forsaking his right to squirt water on the mugger from his fake lapel flower, the officer chose instead to resist the attack, wrestling the robber's gun away, which he then used to shoot and kill him.

Associated Press is reporting that everybody's favorite role model, Amy Winehouse, has accomplished something few performers have ever been able to do: Generate news coverage of a pop concert  performance that occurred in Belgrade, Serbia.  Unfortunately for Ms. Winehouse, the news is that she was booed off the stage by outraged audience members for wasting their time and money with her rambling and incoherent attempts at performing...The Daily Blic describing it as "the worst in the history of Belgrade."
You know you're having a bad day when residents of a nation involved in war crimes trials accuse you of assaulting their sensibilities.

--A New York bound childrens' author, frustrated because of a flight delay caused by problems with overhead luggage, was removed off of an Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight in Detroit, Sunday, for loudly using the word "fuck" in the presence of a flight attendant.  Escorted from the plane by police, things quickly went from bad to worse for the author, Robert Sayegh, when he realized that not only had his manners caused him to fail the cultural smell test of Wayne County, Michigan, but that the resulting publicity meant he was now going to have to admit to his New York literary colleagues that he'd been traveling on Atlantic Southeast Airlines.



     

--Poor LeBron James.  As if scanning his own headlines the day after his NBA finals debacle wasn't tough enough, now even writers who are trying to be nice to him are doing him wrong. Take acclaimed author Buzz Bissinger (Friday Night Lights), who, meaning to come to James defense wrote a sympathetic and well crafted Daily Beast column distributed across the internet with an intentionally ironic, but too easily misunderstood title:  "LeBron James, the Most Hated Athlete In America"  
He was being sarcastic, LeBron.  Fortunately you really didn't deserve this title either.

-Anthony Carleo, a motorcycle riding, gun waving bandit who boldly robbed the Las Vegas Bellagio Casino of $1.5 million in casino chips, pleaded guilty today to felony armed robbery, and now faces the possibility of up to 36 years in state prison.
Making this an especially bad day for Carleo is the fact that his father is a Las Vegas Municipal Court Judge.
Well at least he and his future cellmates won't have trouble finding something to talk about.

--Towel snapping US Congressman Anthony Weiner's chances of career survival continue to deteriorate.  Today, even more  sexually tinged inappropriate pictures have surfaced, including at least one Weinershot that seems to have been taken in the Congressional gymnasium.  

(Ooops.)

--An eastern mountain lion, one of a species that was declared officially extinct earlier this year, was sighted in recent weeks roaming through the backyards of tony NYC suburb, Greenwich, CT.  The same big cat was then again spotted yesterday 30 miles away, in Milford, CT.  Unfortunately for wildlife enthusiasts, and in particular, the lion, the person who spotted it was driving the SUV which struck the lion, killing it.

--Celebration in Cleveland.  

The Miami Heat learn, the painful way, that Karma...is for real.

FINAL

Dallas 105
Miami 95