Think your day is going bad? Well here's a little perspective to make you feel better.
Well hung. ...(sigh)
When it comes to authoring The Daily Bad, you just never know.
Sometimes there isn't a good story to be found anywhere, and sometimes they just drop out of the sky right in front of you. Right on to the court. Dressed like a furry.
Literally.
In an exquisitely entertaining turn of events that unfolded at a recent professional basketball game between the Denver Nuggets and the Portland Trailblazers, "Rocky", the much beloved Denver Nuggets foam encrusted mascot, gave the attending Denver fan devotees more than their money's worth in the department of sporting event psyche trauma, when he slowly descended from the Pepsi Center arena rafters in what turned out to be a state of total unconsciousness. Descended, that is, until his lifeless form crumpled onto the basketball court, a frightening, flaccid, foam covered heap. The audience, understandably, was stunned. Worse yet, because his cable harness made it appear that he was hanging by the neck, many audience members began to believe they had just witnessed either a really creatively crafted suicide, or a good old fashioned lynching. As it turns out (to the disappointment of some), the cable was actually connected to a hidden body harness, and "Rocky", despite his vacant stare, had only passed out, not strangled.
It's still not clear what actually happened, or why the furry fellow fainted. Theories abound. It may have been a medical condition (Mascotosis). He may have been hypnotized, shot with a poison dart, suffered an allergic reaction, been practicing unlicensed transcendental meditation, been bitten by an asp, or had been caught in the midst of a spontaneous auto-erotic asphyxiation experiment.
My personal belief is that he was simply hungover.
I mean, really...like who among us has never cracked a bottle of Jagermeister only to find themselves at work the next day hanging forty feet above 20,000 people, attached to a steel cable?
At any rate, "Rocky" was revived and removed from the arena, apparently no worse for the wear, although it is likely his costume required cleaning.
Denver Nugget management reportedly has so far made no compensatory offers to ticket holder who may now be suffering from PTSD as a result of the experience.
However, "Rocky", being the super mascot that he is, rallied himself after the game to offer a consoling Tweet of reassurance to his many distraught fans, most of whom are expected to have nightmares for the next several years.
When it comes to authoring The Daily Bad, you just never know.
Sometimes there isn't a good story to be found anywhere, and sometimes they just drop out of the sky right in front of you. Right on to the court. Dressed like a furry.
Literally.
In an exquisitely entertaining turn of events that unfolded at a recent professional basketball game between the Denver Nuggets and the Portland Trailblazers, "Rocky", the much beloved Denver Nuggets foam encrusted mascot, gave the attending Denver fan devotees more than their money's worth in the department of sporting event psyche trauma, when he slowly descended from the Pepsi Center arena rafters in what turned out to be a state of total unconsciousness. Descended, that is, until his lifeless form crumpled onto the basketball court, a frightening, flaccid, foam covered heap. The audience, understandably, was stunned. Worse yet, because his cable harness made it appear that he was hanging by the neck, many audience members began to believe they had just witnessed either a really creatively crafted suicide, or a good old fashioned lynching. As it turns out (to the disappointment of some), the cable was actually connected to a hidden body harness, and "Rocky", despite his vacant stare, had only passed out, not strangled.
It's still not clear what actually happened, or why the furry fellow fainted. Theories abound. It may have been a medical condition (Mascotosis). He may have been hypnotized, shot with a poison dart, suffered an allergic reaction, been practicing unlicensed transcendental meditation, been bitten by an asp, or had been caught in the midst of a spontaneous auto-erotic asphyxiation experiment.
My personal belief is that he was simply hungover.
I mean, really...like who among us has never cracked a bottle of Jagermeister only to find themselves at work the next day hanging forty feet above 20,000 people, attached to a steel cable?
At any rate, "Rocky" was revived and removed from the arena, apparently no worse for the wear, although it is likely his costume required cleaning.
Denver Nugget management reportedly has so far made no compensatory offers to ticket holder who may now be suffering from PTSD as a result of the experience.
However, "Rocky", being the super mascot that he is, rallied himself after the game to offer a consoling Tweet of reassurance to his many distraught fans, most of whom are expected to have nightmares for the next several years.
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