Think your day is going bad? Here's a little perspective to make you feel better.
Real estate agents in Idaho Falls, Idaho had a bad day Tuesday when the news agency Reuters distributed a story across it's wires that Idaho Falls police had told an Idaho Falls resident, William Falkingham, to stop wearing a bunny suit. Area residents had been complaining recently that Mr. Falkingham's practice of wearing a bunny suit, with a tutu, while peeking out from behind a tree and pointing his finger like a gun, was scaring local children. It is feared that publicity from the story will further stall any real estate market rebounds and relocation trends, including home buying activity among upwardly mobile members of the neo-Nazi community, who had been increasingly moving into the area. Neo-Nazis apparently have a strong aversion to tutus. Said one swastika tattoo covered skinhead, "A tutu?!? Are you kidding me? ...And he wasn't even pointing a real gun. No wonder the kids were upset. We don't want to live where there's weirdos."
Teepzy the Bear
And if you are a bear, and live in the Ukraine, and are an alcoholic, Wednesday was a very bad day for you. According to the news agency, Interfax, the free ride is over. In a published report, Ukraine's Environment Minister is promising to end the practice of giving captured bears free vodka in restaurants for the purpose of entertaining the patrons. Apparently, historically, nothing has tickled the funny bones of those laugh loving Ukrainians like the site of a drunken bear slurring it's words and lighting the wrong end of it's cigarette. No more. According to Minister Mykola Zlochevsky, the practice will be banned, and once liberated, the detoxed bruins will be placed in a massive wildlife sanctuary built just for them, and their favorite pink elephants.
No word yet on what the Ministry has planned for the hundreds of other captured bears in the Ukraine currently being forced against their will to work as pole dancers.
No word yet on what the Ministry has planned for the hundreds of other captured bears in the Ukraine currently being forced against their will to work as pole dancers.
Finally, the Associated Press reports that a Swedish man, Richard (Dick?) Handl, experienced a particularly bad day recently when he learned the hard way that legal authorities in peace loving Sweden take a dim view of unregulated scientific experiments, especially when they involve private citizens trying to split atoms in their apartment kitchens. Mr. Handl, a nuclear hobbyist, drew attention to himself when he wrote Sweden's Radiation Authority asking if his attempts at building a kitchen based nuclear reactor were legal. Police arrived a short time later and arrested him. By his own admission, Handl had in his possession quantities of uranium, americium, and radium. Since his arrest, Mr. Handl has promised to change his ways.
Meanwhile, responding to Kielbasablog inquiries about criticism of lapses in public safety, local authorities claim that until receiving the tip, they had no way of knowing anything was amiss, "Although in hindsight...", one ranking official admitted, "...the fact that every resident of the apartment complex was completely bald and glowing might have been something we should have paid more attention to."
Meanwhile, responding to Kielbasablog inquiries about criticism of lapses in public safety, local authorities claim that until receiving the tip, they had no way of knowing anything was amiss, "Although in hindsight...", one ranking official admitted, "...the fact that every resident of the apartment complex was completely bald and glowing might have been something we should have paid more attention to."
RSS Feed