Think your day is going bad? Here's a little perspective to make you feel better.
Yippee-ai-o Tyree. A bad day for bad guys in Albuquerque starts when you decide to be a fake cop, and ends when you pull over a real one. Just ask Tyree Appleberry, of Albuquerque, New Mexico, who apparently has been spending way too much of his spare time watching old episodes of Adam-12.
According to a report broadcast by KOB-TV, Mr. Appleberry allegedly decided to take public safety measures into his own hands recently, when he decided to detain a motorist whom he suspected of motor vehicle misbehavior. Using the strobe lights in his Chevy Tahoe, the wannabe lawman pretended to be a cop and executed a class-A traffic stop. Trouble was, the other motorist was an undercover Albuquerque cop...a real one...who was not particularly amused. Things quickly deteriorated for the faux flatfoot. A citation for impersonating a police officer was issued which triggered a background check that quickly revealed...ta-DAA!...an outstanding warrant for failure to appear in court, ...for reckless driving, no less.
The pseudo cop's latent law enforcement desires were then quickly obliged by the local constabulary, who generously included him in their next official police action...
...his arrest.
According to a report broadcast by KOB-TV, Mr. Appleberry allegedly decided to take public safety measures into his own hands recently, when he decided to detain a motorist whom he suspected of motor vehicle misbehavior. Using the strobe lights in his Chevy Tahoe, the wannabe lawman pretended to be a cop and executed a class-A traffic stop. Trouble was, the other motorist was an undercover Albuquerque cop...a real one...who was not particularly amused. Things quickly deteriorated for the faux flatfoot. A citation for impersonating a police officer was issued which triggered a background check that quickly revealed...ta-DAA!...an outstanding warrant for failure to appear in court, ...for reckless driving, no less.
The pseudo cop's latent law enforcement desires were then quickly obliged by the local constabulary, who generously included him in their next official police action...
...his arrest.
"Mummy...did you forget to douche again?"
"Ooooo-ooo, that smell!"
Apparently, living and working with the Royal Family means having to put up with a lot of unpleasant odors. For one thing, there's the stink of unbridled wealth. Then there's the queen, who at age 85, even on a good day is going to smell like cheese. Then there's the occasional dead body. On that note, one of the royal groundskeepers recently found himself having a royally bad day when. in the course of performing his tree pruning duties, found himself face to face with a three year old decomposing corpse.
Turns out (according to The Atlantic Wire) that before decomposing, the stiff had been an American anglophile who had been spending all his free time (which was all his time) stalking and spying on Her Majesty the Queen, and sending her gift boxes filled with 600 page letters and the obligatory obscene photos. Eventually he set up camp in the bushes of a public park less than 100 yards from the walls of Buckingham Palace, where at some point, under circumstances yet determined, he died.
Authorities point to the remoteness of the location as the reason the corpse went undiscovered for so long, although they admit the circling buzzards should have raised a red flag. As for totally missing the telltale odor, a Palace spokesman replied to a Kielbasablog inquiry, "Hello? Take a look at the occupants. If we ran off searching willy-nilly every time we gagged on a smell in this joint, we'd never get anything done."
Apparently, living and working with the Royal Family means having to put up with a lot of unpleasant odors. For one thing, there's the stink of unbridled wealth. Then there's the queen, who at age 85, even on a good day is going to smell like cheese. Then there's the occasional dead body. On that note, one of the royal groundskeepers recently found himself having a royally bad day when. in the course of performing his tree pruning duties, found himself face to face with a three year old decomposing corpse.
Turns out (according to The Atlantic Wire) that before decomposing, the stiff had been an American anglophile who had been spending all his free time (which was all his time) stalking and spying on Her Majesty the Queen, and sending her gift boxes filled with 600 page letters and the obligatory obscene photos. Eventually he set up camp in the bushes of a public park less than 100 yards from the walls of Buckingham Palace, where at some point, under circumstances yet determined, he died.
Authorities point to the remoteness of the location as the reason the corpse went undiscovered for so long, although they admit the circling buzzards should have raised a red flag. As for totally missing the telltale odor, a Palace spokesman replied to a Kielbasablog inquiry, "Hello? Take a look at the occupants. If we ran off searching willy-nilly every time we gagged on a smell in this joint, we'd never get anything done."
Finally, to the delight of dentists everywhere, it was a mouthful of tooth decay badness in Easton, Pennsylvania recently, when the father of a 14-year old-boy was found guilty of reckless endangerment for failing to take his son to a dentist. The situation came to light when the youngster, ...at wit's end after being tormented for months with excrutiating toothaches, attempted to extract two of his own teeth, and ended up requiring emergency surgery.
Apparently, utilizing proper dental surgery technique had never been included as part of the boy's middle school curriculum.
According to a story in The Express-Times of Easton, the father blamed the dental visit delay on problems with insurance.
The man's attorney indicated the possibility of other contributing factors and requested a psychological evaluation.
A date for final sentencing has not been determined, but will most likely occur on a December afternoon
...sometime around tooth-hurty.
Apparently, utilizing proper dental surgery technique had never been included as part of the boy's middle school curriculum.
According to a story in The Express-Times of Easton, the father blamed the dental visit delay on problems with insurance.
The man's attorney indicated the possibility of other contributing factors and requested a psychological evaluation.
A date for final sentencing has not been determined, but will most likely occur on a December afternoon
...sometime around tooth-hurty.
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