Think your day is going bad? Here's a little perspective to make you feel better.
"Watch!...as I make property values DISAPPEAR!"
The Associated Press and The Boston Herald are circulating a story originally reported in The Enterprise, a Brockton, Massacusetts newspaper, regarding a prestidigitational faux pas executed by fledgling Massachusetts magician Russell Fitzgerald, who happens also to the Chairman of the Abington School Committee. Turns out Fitzgerald had nothing up his sleeve, including rabbits, cards, magic, OR common sense, and demonstrated that sad fact quite deftly during a televised school committee meeting when he performed a sleight of hand trick making it appear that he had removed a bra from under the clothing of an unwitting female school committee member. The performance elicited neither the applause or guffaws that Mr. Fitzgerald had hoped for, resulting instead merely in the sound of air leaving the room and jaws hitting the floor, as a room full of committee meeting attendees stared on in horrified disbelief.
Most witnesses in attendance graded the performance a double D.
Apologies have been issued.
Most witnesses in attendance graded the performance a double D.
Apologies have been issued.
"You had me at "grrrrrrr""
According to a popular saying often repeated among hunting enthusiasts, "A bad day of hunting beats a good day of work". However, even the most hard core hunting fan would probably not extend that sentiment to include a day that starts with a missed shot, progresses to being bitten by a bear, and ends with being shot to death by your best friend. Which is exactly what happened to a 39-year-old Nevada man during a deep woods bear hunting excursion in Lincoln County, Montana. The bad day started when the hunters misidentified and shot, but only wounded, a passing grizzly bear (mistaking it for a black bear) which then led them on a chase into deep cover. The angered bear eventually turned and attacked it's pursuers, focusing it's rage, and it's teeth, on one in particular. The unfortunate man's hunting partner, whose aim had not improved significantly in the fifteen minute interim, attempted to save his friend with more gunfire, and began shooting, ultimately striking and killing both the bear, and his friend.
The incident, reported by Associated Press, continues to be investigated, but so far authorities have indicated that they believe the shooting was indeed accidental. Authorities also continue to dismiss persistent internet rumors that the shootings were the result of a woodsy love triangle gone awry.
In a related story, a spokesbear for the Backwoods Bruins Defense League, commenting to a Kielbasablog reporter, used the tragedy to focus attention on what he described as the "criminally inequitable 2nd Ammendmant restrictions" placed on gun ownership by animals. Said the advocate "If you get to bear arms, then we get to arm bears!"
The incident, reported by Associated Press, continues to be investigated, but so far authorities have indicated that they believe the shooting was indeed accidental. Authorities also continue to dismiss persistent internet rumors that the shootings were the result of a woodsy love triangle gone awry.
In a related story, a spokesbear for the Backwoods Bruins Defense League, commenting to a Kielbasablog reporter, used the tragedy to focus attention on what he described as the "criminally inequitable 2nd Ammendmant restrictions" placed on gun ownership by animals. Said the advocate "If you get to bear arms, then we get to arm bears!"
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